CHILD CARE, FAMILY AND SCHOOL

 

Articles from Psychologist Işın Akı

 

Pregnancy

Child care

Breast feeding
Routine
Bottle feeding
Stopping breast feeding
Mother’s diet
Gastric foods
Helping the baby remove gas
Constipation
Treatments for colit and gas
Diarrohhea
Potty training
Dressing
Sleep
Vaccination
Dummies
Tooth relaxers
Steadman’s power
Toys
General advice
Following your child's growth
Disciplining your child

 

PREGNANCY

 

First of all, it is very important for the mother and father to decide that they are physically and emotionally ready for the new stage of their life. The mother must maintain positive mental and spiritual health throughout the pregnancy. It is a well known fact that children are affected by mothers’ thoughts, behaviour and emotions while in the womb. This is why a mother must be completely happy in her thoughts, behaviour and emotions. She should not be involved with trivial issues or fantasies.

 

Mother’s need to be comforted by the father and by elder people because of their sensitivity during pregnancy. The mother’s attention will mostly be on the physical and emotional changes taking place in the body during this period. It will be much easier for her to get to know her body bettr and adapt to the changes taking place with Sahaja Yoga meditation.

 

Taking daily walks in parks and green areas will make birth much easier if the mother is healthy and fit, and if the pregnancy is normal. It will be much easier to give birth if the mother’s energy centers are in correct shape. The mother can balance her energy centers during pregnancy using the footsoaking method. Keeping the feet in a tub of salty lukewarm water for 15 minutes everyday and swimming in the sea if possible will both take away the fears and negative thoughts in the body and will reduce swelling in the feet.

 

A pregnant woman should never carry heavy things and should not work too much. “Ultrasound” checks should only be made depending on circumstances and if it is only very necessary.

 

It is not advisable to travel on trains, the metro, etc after the seventh month. It is advisable to use cars while travelling. Pregnant women should walk slowly and should be calm while climbing up and down stairs.

 

Massaging the body with oils containing vitamins (such as olive oil, coconut oil) during and after pregnancy relax both the mother and the baby. It prevents the formation of cracks in the mother’s skin.

 

It is necessary to take vitamins and iron as advised by the doctor during pregnancy. It is normal for women to put on 1-1.5 kg weight monthly. Experts suggest that putting on too much weight makes giving birth more difficult.

 

CHILD CARE

 

Breastfeeding

 

It is the natural way of feeding the baby. After the first month, the baby can be given boiled water

regularly.

 

What to do regularly:

 

A- ROUTINE AND TIMING

 

Children should be fed at regular intervals every 3 hours. Small children should be massaged completely with oil before being put to bed (around 19.30 hours). It is advisable to use alot of oil on the head area (like olive oil or almond oil). Some oil can also be put on the ear nd nose. The child should then be powdered and cleaned properly.

 

The final feeding ( at around 21.00 hours) should take place while the baby is sleeping. The baby should sleep the whole night until 5 or 6 am after this. The baby should be given milk if it wants.

 

B- OIL MASSAGE

 

Babies should be massaged with oil twice a day initially. It helps children sleep better when they have an oil massage before going to bed. Oil is very good for the energy centers. It is advisable to use olive oil or almond oil. Preprepared baby oils contining vitamins can also be used. Oil massage relaxes babies a lot if the fontanelle bone area is filled with oil. Baby’s hair should be combed from front to back (even if it doesn’t have any). This helps open the Brahmarandra and makes the hair grow.

 

C- BATH TIME AND HOLDING THE BABY

 

You must keep the baby warm while bathing it. It is not advisable to bathe the baby often in cold weather. This is not necessary but daily oil massages are. Do not lift the baby by holding it under its arms. This harms its shoulders and will cause it a lot of pain. The shoulders should not be forced. If the baby can control its head then it should be lifted by holding its chest area. If the baby cannot hold its head by itself then lift it by placing your hands under its neck and the start of its spine.

 

D- BOTTLE FEEDING

 

Babies should be made accustomed to bottle feeding (glass bottles are better) as of the breast feeding period. Feeding it with a bottle in later periods could frustrate the baby. Best is to give milk with a bottle at least once starting from the third month or even earlier. It could be easier to make the first try while the baby is sleeping.

 

E- STOPPING BREAST FEEDING

 

Babies should not be given solid food until they are six months old. You should start giving your baby fruit juice, soups (must be put through a sieve) before six months. Semi solid food like rice made with sugar and milk in the texture of porridge, rice cooked with daal (only with moong daal) can be given after the first six months. Do not start giving babies yoghurt. Some babies like potato puree more than rice. Some prefer sweet dishes while others salty ones. You should prepare the baby to stopping milk after the 10th and 11th months.

 

Babies should eat natural foods and should not be given artificial or packaged goods. It is important to give food taste with the suitable amount of salt. We should gradually make children used to food but not by giving them heavy foods immediately. It is necessary to cool food down before giving them to children.

 

F- MOTHER’S DIET

 

Mother’s should be given jaggery (a sort of dark colored sugar made of date juice) mixed with jeera (cumin) after birth. Dried ginger and cumin mixture can be given for 4-5 days after the 3rd or 4th day. This mixture helps throw out the remaining uterus parts with the help of its heat. Semolina and almonds are very good for the mother. The Indian sweet Rasgullah (white balls in syrup) are also very good.

 

- Mothers should drink milk but not by itself while breastfeeding. You could add grains, cereals or take it like porridge. Milk should be boiled in a steel vessel to prevent gas formation. A mother should drink almost 1.5 litres of boiled milk daily mixed with grains.

 

- Good protein support prevent the mother from feeling tired while breastfeeding (more pure meat should be taken than other meat foods). Fruits are not good. Food with shells, like walnuts and hazelnuts and sugar are good to strengthen mothers. Seeds are also good. Like watermelon seeds (not sesame or sunflower seeds).

 

- Vegetables that grown underground should not be preferred. Green vegetables should be consumed cooked rather than raw. Boiled spinach is very good. Ajwain is also very good but should be taken raw.

 

- Some brown bread

 

- Avoid cold drinks and yoghurt.

 

6- GASTRIC FOOD

 

Breastfeeding mothers should avoid gastric food to prevent gas formation. The following cause gas:

 

- rice
- vegetables with rots and all veggies that grow underground
- white flour and all foods made of white flour
- cold drinks
- milk itself or milk that is not boiled in a steel vessel
- food that are known to cause gas, such as beans, spices, wild beans, etc

 

7- HELPING THE BABY REMOVE GAS

 

A baby’s gas should be taken out after every meal even if it has fallen asleep. While doing so you should move your hands up and down from the neck to the lower part of the baby’s spine.

 

8- CONSTIPATION

 

A mother should not get constipation while breastfeeding. Hisabgol is a good medication that can be found in Indian stores. It is made of the outer shell of isphagula seeds and can be consumed within warm water.

 

9- COLITIS AND REMEDIES FOR GAS

 

The mother can chew ajwain. It can be taken a few times daily in small amounts to avoid gas formation. It is better to cook it according to recipes rather than consuming it raw. It is also possible to boil 2 fennel seeds with 7 ajwain seeds. It should be made very sweet (with jaggery or normal sugar). This is a very strong remedy for babies that is why it is only for mothers. Increasing the amount of ajwain could help. Grape juice can be used one or two months later but should be boiled first to take out the alcohol.

 

10- DIARRHEA

 

Boil fennel seeds with milk and add sugar. Give it two or three times. Do not increase the amount of fennel seeds.

 

11- POTTY TRAINING

 

It would make it easier for the future to touch the bottom area of the baby with a bowl or make similar sounds like shhh when the baby is two or three months old. The baby gets used to the touch and starts taking it like a signal or a massage.

 

12- DRESSING YOUR BABY

 

It would be better to dress your baby with clothes made of 100% natural fibres. Clothes touching the skin should also be cotton. Woolen clothes should be worn over cotton clotes in winter time. A small hat covering the collarbone will prevent your baby from feeling cold. Woolen waistcoats are also good over cotton clothes. Silk is not good for babies.

 

Clothes should stretch up to the ankle. Make sure that the stomach and belly areas are fully covered in winter. Cover the head and feet as well. Girls should be dressed with girlish clothes and boys with appropriate boyish ones.

 

13- SLEEP

 

The best place is to give the baby its own bed in the parents’ room. The baby should sleep with the parents only once in a while.

 

14- VACCINATION

 

It is a well known fact that vaccinating your child protects it against diseases.

 

15- DUMMIES

 

Too much use of dummies could make the teeth come out early. A little use is fine but should be avoided. The best thing to relax your baby is an oil massage (especially in the neck and shoulder area).

 

16- TOOTH RELAXERS

 

Are good. Best ones are those made of ivory.

 

17- STEADMAN’S POWER

 

Is a good medicine to take away pain and soothe your baby when his teeth are coming out.

 

18- TOYS

 

The best type of toys for small babies are simple and soft toys like those made from cloth, silver rattles and whistles. Plastic toys that can only be heard or looked at but cannot be touched are also good. Wooden toys are best when they grow more. It is better to give your child high quality toys rather than a large number of plastic ones. Toys should be respected and the people who gifted them should be remembered. Children can play sweet games with toys, they can give nice names to their dolls, teach them good manners, tell them to be more quiet and more respectful to their elders. Motherhood develops in the early stages of life. Let them feel their toys. Boys can be given horses, cars and such toys.

 

Children treat their toys like their friends or younger siblings. They develop great love for them. You can ask them questions about their toys. Like, did it break? Sharing toys is important. You can play small games like how can we share? Arrange games that will show how to be peaceful, loving and compassionate. You can ask them how they would behave if there was an accident and encourage them to be peaceful. Nobody should show off. You should avoid categorizations like white and black or rich and poor. This prevents the formation of such a consciousness.

 

19- GENERAL ADVICE

 

Reading books on motherhood and childcare will be helpful in raising your child.

 

GROWTH

 

Most children grow and develop along the same lines. They smile before they laugh and hold objects before stretching to pick them up, they sit before they walk.

 

Various children grow at different levels. Your baby could show early skills in some areas and develop slower in others.

 

When they are:

 

Four weeks old

 

They watch your face when you approach to speak with them.
They can lift their chin for a moment while lying on their tummy.

 

Six weeks old

 

Can keep their head straight while sitting on your lap but the head can move back and forth at times.
Can lift their head and shoulders while lying on the tummy and place the weight on the front arms.
Can hold a rattle for a mment. Looks at his hands.
Gets excited when he sees you.
Speaks with you when you speak with them.
Eyes move to follow the objects around them even though they might not turn their head in that direction.

 

16 weeks old

 

Can keep their head straight while sitting on your lap.
Stretches out to things but cannot hold them yet
Gets excited when he sees a dummy or bottle
Expresses liking for being sat down
Laughs

 

5 months

 

Brings his feet to his mouth when lying on his back. Plays with his toes.

 

6 months

 

Turns from his tummy onto his back
Puts a majority of his weight on his feet if held upright in a way where his feet solidly touch the gorund. Likes to jump up and down when held this way.
Makes more sounds.

 

7 months

 

Turns from his tummy onto his back
Can switch objects between his hands

 

8 months

 

Looks for toys that fall down
Can sit without any support for a few moments
Makes sounds like mama, dada, baba

 

9 months

 

Likes playing games with you (clapping, looking)
Behaves differently according to the tone of your voice
Can push and pull with the index finger, can hold small objects between the thumb and index finger.
Tries to creep, crawl and move on his bottom

 

10 months

 

Can sit by itself
Throws objects for you to hold them
Tries to stand straight to walk. Usually shouts to sit again or falls on his bottom until he learns to bend.
Creeps and crawls. Likes it very much if you bend down and pretend to follow it.
Can move by holding on to objects

 

12 months

 

Can take a few steps if held from one or two hands
Can give you a toy and take it back again
Can say a few single words that have meanings
You can come up with games using less objects. This will help you develop your baby’s qualities and skills

 

Crying

 

All babies cry with intervals for different reasons. Babies need to be able to signify they need something to be able to stay alive and crying is the first and safest way to do this.

 

What do they want?

 

You will soon be able to identify the reason because you will be able to distinguish between the different styles of your baby’s crying. You will need to guess initially.

 

Sudden changes

 

A dirty nappy will not make the baby cry in the first few months unless the baby feels cold in the first few months. The baby signals that it is disturbed later on.

 

Pain

 

Babies cry when they feel pain or when they want to relax

 

Swallowing air

 

It is believed that crying in the first few weeks makes the baby swallow air. All babies swallow air while breastfeeding and this is why this gas needs to be taken out afterwards. This takes a few minutes.

 

Always lay your baby down on its tummy. Its hands should be free on its sides. This releases the gas easily. The baby can burp if necessary. If it vomits, the digested milk does not go to the throat. The baby can move its head from one side to the other comfortably and so can breathe easily.

 

The baby can usually be comforted on your lap. Some babies are comforted when they are rocked. Carrying them while they cry can also help, especially in fresh air. The baby responds to your feelings.

 

Disciplining your child

 

Children should know you love them. Do small things to show them your affection. Love should be expressed. Their only fear is losing this love. They should always be given love and respect. Treat them as if they are older. Love and respect is better than slapping a child. Our first priority should be to love them alot. Discipline comes after that. If a child is curious about something, you should go and bring it for the him. This is very important.

 

Teach the child to be generous at all times. If they give something belonging to the home to someone else, praise their generosity. Do not create a lot of tension for discipline. Solve problems with love.

 

Children should not be allowed to form habits. They should not get too much used to comfort. They should always have affection for others, should bring things for them and should always be helping others. We should not make children work too much. If we set a good example in being clean and gracious they will also become like that. Children should know how to behave by themselves. Do not spoil them with gifts. Give them presents at the right time and tell them how they should treat those gifts. Discipline them. If parents discipline their children with love, children behave the way the mother and father want them to so as not to lose their love. They do not want to upset them. This makes them very respectful towards their elders and very beneficial to society when they grow up. They never criticize their elders and are not sarcastic.

 

The first principle should be to teach them to be respectful. They will behave disrespectfully towards other people if they are not taught this. It is the duty of the family to teach them how to behave if they do not know how to. It is very easy to love a child and not say anything. You need to be very careful with children when they are growing up. Grandparents might spoil them but parents shouldn’t. You should tell them how to behave and sit and speak with them for an hour.

 

You should learn how to discipline your children. They will see things on tv and imitate it. You need to tell them what you want them to do is not what they see on tv. If the tv is telling things that you want them to learn then stand by it. If they break their toys you should tell them you will not buy any more because they are breaking them. Give them a less number of toys and know where they are placed rather than giving them many, complicated toys. You can give them a list or ask them to keep one.

 

Respect is the essence. They will respect their belongings if we respect ours. Are we respectful? We throw our clothes here and there. This is why children lack discipline when they grow older. They toss their clothes here and there and we complain. Children should be made used to waking up early. Parents should wash and dress them in the mornings. Children should be given milk, not tea. If the children are behaving otherwise, it is because the parents haven’t disciplined them. Parents should be ideals. Children will not carry qualities that do not exist in the parents.

 

The responsibility of spoiling a child is completely on the parents. You should tell them everything until they are 16. What is right, how to behave, how to live. You should tell it all. You should teach them. Otherwise they become vagabonds and take everything, thinking they can behave as they wish. You should teach them what is wrong. Do not give them money and spoil them. If they miss out on dinner one night, they’ll behave properly the next day. Let them do chores. Do not pay children money for the work they do. They should work for themselves if they are to. Paying them money for the work they do builds a very bad habit. They are not workers. This discipline should be given. This is very good training because our social side is weak. We do not know how to give them discipline. One should not always indulge in the child and run after him either. Because they know they rule you, they will behave accordingly. They should know where they stand next to yu. They will learn slowly and behave properly.

 

Children are not grown up humans yet. You will either raise them as mature adults or they turn into devils. It is in your hands. You should never be cruel but you should not let them rule over you either. Parents are not to be trained by the children.